Please, please no extra John Buccigross songs

Enough already.

Sufficient already.
Illustration: ESPN

The one factor worse than having to hearken to Gus Johnson lately, and he’s been an actual chore for years now, is having to hearken to somebody attempting to be Gus Johnson.

Whereas Johnson has turn out to be a self-aware phrase button, at the very least I can keep in mind a time when he was enjoyable and added to a sport. Or at the very least a great sport. John Buccigross, however, by no means had a first-rate. He was a studio man again when ESPN had the NHL the primary time, which was in regards to the time ESPN thought it could be a good suggestion to let all of the fuckwits they’d on air to give you their very own catch phrases. As soon as ESPN let the NHL go away, Bucci was principally certainly one of 4 folks left who favored hockey. The opposite three had been Steve Levy, Linda Cohn, and the seven minutes per week Barry Melrose is sane.

So I suppose it was some reward for Bucci to be among the many black sheep in Bristol to let him do play-by-play when hockey returned. Besides if anybody had listened to his fully uninformed and old-guy-trying-to-sound-cool broadcasts of the Frozen 4 knew this may be a tough hear.

Sadly, we had been cursed with this for the Tampa Bay-Toronto sequence, which might be probably the most anticipated and thrilling sequence of the primary spherical. And there was Buccigross, attempting to crowbar no matter catch phrase or phrase he thinks is cool this week, some 5 seconds behind the play. Each time Buccigross says “sauce” he needs to be hit with an alligator. Simply name the fucking sport. The purpose isn’t to make your self sound cool, which you positively aren’t, however to make the sport sound cool. You’re an additive, not the present. Buccigross feels like a frat boy attempting to relate his housemates’ NHL 94 sport.

The NHL being again on ESPN has carried out the league some good, and ESPN’s protection hasn’t all been lazy and rote. Hell, on the primary night time of the playoffs there have been 4 girls on the broadcasts of the 4 Sport 1s on Monday night time. The sport nonetheless seems to be nice on ESPN.

However so far as every part else, ESPN put about as a lot thought into it as you do once you get that decision about your automobile’s guarantee. Mark Messier and Chris Cheilos don’t have anything so as to add at intermission apart from Chelios’ spray-tan dripping off onto the set, because of the reflection of sunshine of Messier’s head. And Steve Levy is chained to the desk when he needs to be within the sales space on the area.

It wasn’t even acceptable for the common season, however one can’t get too labored up a couple of February tilt between Anaheim and Edmonton. However that is the playoffs. Let’s do our greatest, huh?

Jersey Shitty

Talking of hockey and extra particularly, the Oilers, and in addition the Hurricanes, neither certainly one of you goes to win shit if you happen to’re carrying your third jerseys in the course of the playoffs. That shit must be dropped. It’s particularly egregious within the Oilers’ case, although their regular house oranges are an abomination as effectively contemplating their 80s blue classics are proper there. However you possibly can’t put on your thirds within the playoffs. You’re not attempting to boost a run-of-the-mill skate round on Valentine’s Day.

The Sharks discovered this years in the past, repeatedly attempting to interrupt out their black jerseys in the course of the playoffs. It received them nothing however their dick of their hand. They switched again to carrying the normal teal and…Increase!, their first ever look within the Remaining.

There are simply sure stuff you don’t fuck with. Put on your rattling colours. Black jerseys are boring as shit, particularly when it’s not even in your shade scheme. Do higher.

Connor McFlurry

Anyway, we will’t preserve bitching on the daybreak of the playoffs, so right here’s Connor McDavid scorching 4 Kings to open the scoring for the Oilers. Although it didn’t assist a lot, as Mike Smith Mike Smith’d late within the third interval handy the Kings a late winner for a 4-Three Sport 1 triumph. The perfect a part of this objective is that McDavid isn’t at far more than cruising velocity for him, which the Kings are both in want of pores and skin grafts or are so frightened of getting wherever close to him as a result of they’ll get scorched too:

Disgrace he can’t play objective.

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