Congrats, Browns, you weren’t inept and unethical

Hue Jackson and Jimmy Haslam are two of the losers answerable for the most recent stretch of Cleveland Browns ineptitude.
Picture: Getty Photographs

Congratulations are to ensure that Jimmy Haslam and the Cleveland Browns. The NFL’s impartial investigation into former head coach Hue Jackson’s claims that the staff paid him to lose video games discovered “no proof” to substantiate these allegations, proving that the staff didn’t deliberately lose video games however quite tried and nonetheless went 3-36-1 throughout a two-plus season run.

The 60-day assessment was led by former Securities and Trade Fee chair Mary Jo White, and whereas I’m not Adam Schefter-ing this from my closet studio someplace, emphatically telling you that the NFL might discover no proof, I used to be at all times leery that a company — even one as inept as Cleveland — would have a paper path a few pay-to-lose incentive.

It’s why I’m constantly in awe of the Miami-Brian Flores allegations, however possibly I shouldn’t be as a result of the Dolphins have been each bit as irrelevant because the Browns resulting from their very own depressing proprietor.

The distinction between the 2 instances is the person levying them. Flores had the Fins competing and profitable (at the least by Stephen Ross period requirements); Jackson is at Grambling State, hiring after which firing disgraced coach Artwork Briles, and presumably admitting tax fraud whereas making an attempt to tweet by it. The coach he selected to interchange Briles with isn’t squeaky clear both.

Jackson backed off his preliminary claims in opposition to Cleveland a couple of days after making them in February, telling CNN that he was by no means provided cash like Flores however quite obtained a $750,000 year-end bonus for following the staff’s tank-to-rebuild plan. (The investigation additionally discovered that there was no four-year tanking plan.) Moreover, after initially saying he’d converse to the NFL’s investigators, Jackson finally opted in opposition to it.

So right here we’re. All this ballyhoo and forwards and backwards solely to determine a bunch of shit we already knew: Hue Jackson isn’t soccer coach, Jimmy Haslam is possibly good at hiding incriminating proof, and the Browns have been simply being the Browns after they misplaced all of these video games.

Cleveland is what The Course of would appear like if Cleveland tried The Course of. Concussing Patrick Mahomes after which failing to benefit from the 11 billion alternatives to steal that AFC Divisional playoff sport was the Brown’s model of the Kawhi Leonard quadruple bounce sport.

I agree that Baker Mayfield isn’t a franchise quarterback. On the similar time, I additionally agree that Deshaun Watson isn’t a franchise quarterback regardless of his talent set and resume. Undecided what number of occasions I’ve to say it, however nice job buying and selling for a man being sued by extra therapeutic massage therapists than folks can rely on their fingers and toes (22 for these of you who forgot).

The Browns traded for Odell Beckham Jr. solely to piss him off, and he was on his technique to Tremendous Bowl MVP with the Rams earlier than getting harm. The staff signed Kareem Hunt, who the Chiefs minimize after video surfaced of him bull-rushing and kicking a girl in a CLEVELAND lodge.

Sure, Myles Garrett is wonderful. He additionally took off an opposing QB’s helmet after which smacked him with it.

It’s unfair to tear the Browns like this as a result of they haven’t been “City Meyer in Jacksonville” incompetent in like two or three years. Prepared to miss disgusting habits — alleged or videotaped — towards girls? Sure. However objectively horrible at soccer? No.

I like Nick Chubb and coach Kevin Stefanski and completely love Cleveland followers. I feel third-round draft alternative David Bell may very well be a type of receivers that Cris Collinsworth retroactively gushes about.

“I do know he didn’t have an excellent mix, Al, however watch his tape at Purdue and inform me he’s not an NFL receiver. The man has 232 receptions since 2019. I do know I’m not stunned.”

I really feel much less assured about Amari Cooper because the go-to possibility. He’s my choose to be this yr’s model of Julio Jones or A.J. Inexperienced, aka the receiver who’s a No. 1 receiver by title recognition solely. He’ll be on the waiver wire in some unspecified time in the future, and also you’ll suppose he’s choose up till you have a look at his sport log.

For those who’re questioning why I’m not spreading insults round and taking extra pictures at Jackson, it’s as a result of he’s not taking a victory lap and preaching about integrity whereas buying and selling for or signing gamers who don’t have any. And the Dawg Pound isn’t caught with Jackson the identical approach they’re caught with an proprietor who by no means sees an allegation stick. (For those who’re unaware of the $50 million fraud scheme carried out by the Flying J gasoline station chain and its workers, neither was Haslam. However you’re not the chairman of the corporate’s board.)

The staff’s assertion might’ve featured just a little humility. “We perceive the confusion. If one other staff was dropping video games at a seemingly not possible fee, it’d be honest to query if it was intentional. We weren’t. We’re simply the Browns, and that was enterprise as common.”

Cleveland didn’t keep away from public embarrassment, it averted additional public embarrassment. There have been no winners from the NFL’s investigation as a result of all events answerable for that traditionally dangerous stretch of Browns’ soccer are fucking losers.

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